Three Reasons To Meet Your Military & Family Life Counselor!

What feels like a lifetime ago, I was sitting in a Battalion Steering Committee meeting when an older gentleman introduced himself as our new MFLC – Military & Family Life Counselor. It was 2009. I listened to his elevator pitch and learned about the relatively new program.  Apparently, we’d be seeing him around now. He was assigned to the unit my husband was in, and he was “ours.” The unit’s dedicated counselor. At the time, I remember blowing him off a bit – or at least the concept of him.

Why do we need our own counselor? Doesn’t the base have counselors? Who is going to hang out with this guy at a unit function and spill the beans on life at home or their PCS challenges? Not this girl.

Six years later, I ate those words.

MFLCs are FREE!

We were in Germany. The sweetest husband and wife MFLC therapy team joined the community. The wife in this dynamic duo was assigned to our unit, and I’d met her many times at unit functions. She was like your favorite aunt or your grandma. Just a sweet lady. She made you want to share. So, when the shit hit the fan in my life, in our life, I called her.

MFLCs don’t keep records.

I’m often guilty of being the person who feels terrible “complaining” about hardships. But, over time I’ve learned that getting in my own way serves no one, least of all myself or my family. I’ve learned that it is not brave or strong to pretend that solo parenting isn’t difficult, or that revolving-door friendships aren’t disappointing, or that missing your spouse during yet another training mission isn’t hard.

MFLCs don’t require Tricare.

And when I was ready to stop pretending and start dealing, there she was. It wasn’t every day or even every week. And sometimes we’d go months before I’d steal more tissues from her office. But she was there, whenever I needed her. And she was free and confidential. And best of all I didn’t have to jump through a single Tricare preauthorization hoop to see her.

I continue to tell anyone who will listen how much I love this program. It’s often underutilized. If PCS, deployment, parenting, or life stress is keeping you from feeling clear-headed, seek out an MFLC.

I know all MFLCs are not all created equal, and when bearing your soul, connection matters. So, if you’ve tried and weren’t thrilled, try again. Try another person. And if your children are struggling, some locations have MFLCs dedicated to the schools. You don’t HAVE to see the MFLC assigned to your unit. Just call the community services office (ACS for the Army folks) and ask to talk to any of the MFLCs. They are such a gift to this community.

This $*%^ gets hard, for all of us, for different reasons. Let them help you!

To learn more about the program or your local services, check with your local community services organization or Military One Source.

View more stories from Jennifer Pasquale

Marriage

Prepare Yourself and Your Spouse for Military Retirement

Article originally published on Independent.com For “old school” folks, who like paper calendars, 2023 might bring something new and important – a special date, circled, stared, hearted, or otherwise celebrated on the family calendar. It is the date of our Service

Read More »
Community

The Story of Pride & Grit

For years, I’ve wanted to write a book. I didn’t know what the topic would be, but I knew there were few things I enjoyed more than spending the day in front of my computer making the words reflect how

Read More »
Employment

Why I Chose A Boy Over My Career

As I walked (paced really) along the patio of my condo, I relayed my decision to a friend and colleague. I wasn’t going to apply for the job. The words took my breath away. It was the job I was

Read More »

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pride & Grit is a Trademark of Hinshaw Consulting Group, Inc 2018© and Pride & Grit Consulting, LLC. 2022© All rights reserved.

Pride & Grit is a Trademark of Hinshaw Consulting Group, Inc 2018© and Pride & Grit Consulting, LLC. 2022© All rights reserved.