Marriage Stories

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"True love is when both people believe they have the better end of the deal."

Simon sinek
Couple sitting my computer

Three Tips for Managing Expectations in a Military Marriage

Military marriages exist in dog years. A five-year military marriage passes in a blink, feeling more like two-and-a-half short years. And yet simultaneously you feel like you’ve learned enough about marriage, about hard, about love, to rival the average 10-year marriage. You experience double the growth in half the time.  Thirteen years, seven moves, four new duty stations, five deployments,

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Three Best Reads of 2019

It is easy to miss “the good stuff” on social media. Been there, often! I’ll see articles posted that are several years old (from sites I actually follow) and I’m thinking, this is great, how did I miss this? Happens all. the. time. So, with that in mind, I wanted to start off 2020 by providing a bit of a

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My Fairy-Tale Life

I began referring to my fairy-tale life back in 2011. I adopted the expression while my husband was in Afghanistan for twelve months. It was a rough deployment. Many Soldiers have experienced longer and more difficult combat deployments, I know, but this one was our first. Soldiers died. Families mourned. I often wondered whether or not my own Soldier would make it

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PTSD, as Told by a Veteran and a Military Spouse

My name is Annette, and I am the mother of two teenagers. I am also a military spouse of over 20 years and a Retired Army Combat Veteran. What some may not know is that I also suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I’ve been living with this since 2009. Some days are better than others. Some days I want

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Dating My Spouse Has Saved Our Marriage

Two days before my wedding day, terrorists hijacked airplanes and attacked the United States. It was September 11th, and my father was on a flight from Washington DC, heading to our wedding destination. I didn’t know if he was safe or even alive. Suddenly, a time that should have been exciting and joyful became scary, tragic, and emotionally draining. Thankfully

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Secrets I Never Shared as a Military Spouse

I always watched my husband leave until he was completely out of my site. Most of his departures were before the sun was up – at a time we referred to as “O’Dark Thirty.” While our babies slept, I often watched the squadron mate or taxi company whisk my love away quietly as neighbors slept. I hated not to be

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I Could Never Do What You Do

“I could never do what you do.” Uuuuuuuugh. Cue me, sighing dramatically and rolling my eyes. Listen, friend. Or Mom. Or college roommate. Or cousin. Or Great-Aunt Sally. Or check-out cashier at Target. You could, and you would. You would move. You would sacrifice. You would let yourself be pushed beyond the limits you ever thought were possible. Your spouse

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Why I Chose A Boy Over My Career

As I walked (paced really) along the patio of my condo, I relayed my decision to a friend and colleague. I wasn’t going to apply for the job. The words took my breath away. It was the job I was already doing, a job I knew I was qualified for, a job that would boost my resume and set the

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The Choice That Almost Ended my Military Marriage

Originally featured on the National Family Military Association‘s Blog, this story was republished with the permission of both the author and NMFA.  I chose my career over my military husband. I’ve always been motivated to achieve. So has my husband. This joint go-get-‘em attitude is part of what attracted us to each other. As a soldier, his ambition manifested as always going

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Moving the goal line in a 20-year military career

When we started dating, I was a young professional: driven, focused, and successful by most 27-year-old’s standards. My boyfriend was six years into a potential 20-year career in the Army. I was just beginning to understand what our relationship might mean and how it could change the future I’d planned for myself. It was clear that, like so many before him,

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Mud Trails, Husband Fails, and A Change of Heart

Ok. So, fellow wives, maybe you know the feeling. The feeling when you worked hard vacuuming and mopping the floors, which is apparently an invitation for your clueless husband to parade through the house in his muddy boots. I mean, DUDE… The thoughts? “Oh my WORD, when will he learn??????” “Why am I the only one who cares at ALL about how

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Military wedding, bride and groom embrace.

Five Pieces of Advice To The New Military Spouse

I was a deer in headlights. In spite of my napkin and pen session with my future husband, I still had a lot to learn about military life when we got married. And I realize every day that I still have a lot to learn. But, after listening to the advice of many spouses that had far more experience than

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Napkin with Scribbled Notes and Pen on Table

Napkins And A Lesson In “Never Say Never”

I have no clue what he’s talking about! Should I pretend I’m following along, or actually pay attention? That was me, sitting across from my date over a plate of pasta, totally confused. But, in order to be engaged in this conversation, I knew I needed context. I knew that passive listening and nodding wasn’t going to be enough. If this

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Pride & Grit is a Trademark of Hinshaw Consulting Group, Inc. 2020© All rights reserved.

Pride & Grit is a Trademark of Hinshaw Consulting Group, Inc. 2020© All rights reserved.